Out with a bang
It’s been swell, Montreal, but it couldn’t last forever. Your laid-back attitude and cobblestone streets charmed the pants off me, your mountaintop encouraged further public nudity and necking, and your industrial loft spaces inspired deviant sex acts and other cheap thrills. I’ve enjoyed your liberal attitudes toward sex, as well as your desire to lead the good life (i.e., work a little, play more). But even with all of these benefits to our excellent open relationship, Montreal, I think it’s time to move on. After all, there’s only so much sexual revolution one can foment in an already incredibly open-minded community.
Sometimes you need a little resistance to help you understand your freedoms.
So this Vixen is off to parts unknown, in search of different dark alleys to rub up against and new erotic horizons to explore. I’m looking for a dare-to-be-great situation, just like romantic kickboxer Lloyd Dobler, where I can unleash Power Laura upon the world in all her salacious glory.
This is my final column here at the Hour, but don’t despair: You’ll always be able to find me online at blackheartmagazine.com, where I’ll continue to share dirty secrets, hot pin-up photos and erotica every week until sex goes out of style.
For the record: If sex ever goes out of style, please feel free to take a cyanide capsule with me. No Brave New World of pills and potions is worth replacing sex in all its filth and wisdom.
I’ve been writing this column since October of 2007, and over that time I’ve covered a lot of material. Even so, there’s always more to discuss, more ideas to contemplate and stories to share. Sex is a part of life that, to me, is important and inspiring. Others may view this attitude as prurient, morally bankrupt or somehow obscene, but they’ve got limited vision.
Without sex, where would any of us be? Whether we are lusting for it, getting off, wanting more or less, searching for love in all the wrong places or posting nude pix of ourselves online for all the world to see, there are plenty of angles and avenues to explore, daily.
I am often astonished by the multitude of intelligent sex sites currently available, from reliably witty Dan Savage columns to button-pushing pieces like Susannah Breslin’s They Shoot Porn Stars, Don’t They? (www.theyshootstars.com). Heck, even the December 11 Natalie Dee comic (www.nataliedee.com/121109/the-wait-is-over.jpg) is a great commentary on sex, love, relationships and the dangers of stereotypical gender roles. (Plus the idea of "17 luscious holes!" is pretty hilarious.)
There’s a helluva lot of material out there. And it’s up to us to sort through it, digest it, ponder it and decide whether we think it’s good, bad, ugly or some grey area in between. I’ve always enjoyed bringing my readers bits and pieces of the news that somehow relate to sex, in order to drive the point home that sex is everywhere. It’s unavoidable, like it or not. So we might as well figure out what we think about it, and what we want to see in the future, because otherwise we’ll just get the same old, dumbed-down porno crap that we’ve always gotten.
To quote one of the great elders of smut, Susie Bright: "If you don’t like what you see, go out and make your own."
I’ve always kept that idea in the back of my mind, and now I think it’s high time I go out and make some of my own multimedia porn-art creations to share with the world. Here, in this column, it’s been a lot of sexual philosophy, a bit of sex ed and a dash of T&A to keep things interesting. Out there, in the wilds of the Internet, it can be so much more. It can be another very important sexual revolution.
So I hope that you’ve enjoyed some of the things I’ve written here, and if you’d like to keep reading what I write, do feel free to check out blackheartmagazine.com or my personal website at buttontapper.com.
For now, let’s go out with a bang together, dear readers. Think of your dirtiest fantasy, the thing you’d do in a second with no strings attached, and go someplace private for a little one-on-one wank session. Consider this my gift to you, as you moan and wail and stroke your way to happiness. Merry XXXmas, dear readers. I’ll see you in cyberspace.
3 comments
So Laura Roberts’ tenure has come to an end at Hour. I kind of have mixed feeling about her departure – after all, I was (and continue) to be a fan of Josee Vogel’s ” My Messy Bedroom” column and yet with time, I came to appreciate Mrs. Robert’s unique sensual and sexual aesthetic – particularly as it emanated from a uniquely Montreal perspective. As great as ” My Messy Bedroom” was, it was a syndicated column, and as such, that local dynamic was often markedly absent from much of Josee Vogel’s writing. Frustratingly enough, though, “V for Vixen” was often M.I.A. for weeks at a time so any groove or momentum that she had begun to build up would often fade just as quickly. Still she will be missed and I do wish her well in all of her future sexcapades (both written and otherwise).:P.
I debated as to whether or not to post a comment about the end of V for Vixen. For the most part I liked the column. Ms. Roberts is a fine writer. Although I find that she seemingly has more passion for her other occasional postings on shoestring dining.(the idea for a rustic dinner with a BBQ chicken..and torn romaine with Litehouse was inspired in its simplicity)
However, there were times when the column read like that of a married columnist( which she is) and the invariable pooh-poohing of threesomes and other concepts. Also I did fins find the snarky comments after the passing of Nelly Arcan( the unnecessary reference to her cosmetic enhancement in kinda poor taste…)
Still, all in all, while the columns tended to be less that alternative they were well written and, for the most part, interesting. She will be missed.
Good luck Ms. Roberts….am looking forward to your next endeavour!
Well, Laura, we hardly knew ya. Sure I enjoyed the column but towards the end, it’s appearance in the Hour was pretty sporadic. So, at her best, Laura’s unique perspective was engaging and smile-inducing but in her absence, the silence was deafening. We need someone to keep us abreast of the ever-changing sexual landscape especially in view of Gerard Tremblay’s crackdown on our city’s storied red-light district which, with the imminent razing of Club Cleopatra, will effectively be obliterated. Who will pick up the mantle in Laura’s absence? I don’t know but I strongly urge the Hour to not only maintain a column of some sort but also to hire a Montreal-er (as opposed to a syndicated writer) who can provide us with a distinctly local take on all things sexual..