Serious sex parties
Although a reader wrote in recently to ask me whether there are any cuddle parties happening in Montreal, this isn’t quite the kind of party I’m talking about in today’s column. According to a recent article in The Australian, Aussies are making the personal political with a new political party called the Australian Sex Party. Talk about combating voter apathy!
According to the party’s website (www.sexparty.org.au, whose slogan is "We’re serious about sex"), the party is "a political response to the sexual needs of Australia in the 21st century. It is an attempt to restore the balance between sexual privacy and sexual publicity that has been severely distorted by morals campaigners and prudish politicians."
Though Canada may not have the same kinds of political sex scandals that our southern neighbours appear to have in spades (I mean, how many U.S. politicos have had to resign in the past year alone due to a sex scandal skeleton in their closet?), the conflation of sex laws and morality is certainly an issue here as well. Just look at our bizarre laws governing prostitution; it speaks to a sexual schizophrenia in our country, if not prudishness and the attempt to lay down a moral code for Canadian citizens.
Still, after checking out the Sex Party’s platform of policies, I have to wonder if they’re on the right track. While their leader, Fiona Patten, professes "We’re positive about sex," and some of the party’s policies certainly back that statement up, there are a few that leave me scratching my head. For instance, they want "to hold a referendum to create mandatory equal numbers of women in the Senate and State Upper Houses."
Um, dudes, I’m all for equality of the sexes, but making equality mandatory seems just a wee bit fascist to me. Besides, you can’t dictate equality. I mean, what are you going to do, yank random women off the street and force them to run for office? If that’s the case, we’ll have people like Sarah Palin in charge in no time, and that’s hardly a step forward – either for womankind or for the goal of true sexual equality.
Most of their other policies, however, are things I’m totally excited about. The one about creating total equality under the law for gay, lesbian and transsexual couples is definitely awesome, as is the one about ensuring the sexual rights and freedoms of the disabled and the elderly who are currently housed in institutions. They even call for a royal commission that will investigate claims of child abuse amongst religious groups – something I suspect the Vatican won’t like, but it’s about time someone besides the Big G held those dirty old white men responsible for their actions.
I do wonder about the suggestion that "Viagra, Cialis and other drugs used to treat sexual dysfunction [be listed] on the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme" though. I presume this also means that things like ben-wa balls and Kegel exercisers will be covered as aids to sexual dysfunction in women, otherwise what’s the point? We’re not actually suggesting that men’s sexual dysfunction is more important than women’s, are we Sex Party? ‘Cause that wouldn’t make for a very entertaining party.
Like any political party, there will always be issues that cause rifts between members. Some of us will want more services covered by the government, and some of us will rally for fewer. Still, I think that the concept of a Sex Party is something I could really get behind. Especially if I were wearing a corset, strap-on and brandishing a bottle of lube.
With that image in mind and in keeping with Hour’s Gift Guide this week, I’d like to suggest a couple of inexpensive sex toys for the holidays!
FOR THE LADIES
Lately I’ve been hearing good things about the Hummingbird, a.k.a. the Clitoral Hummer (store.babeland.com/vibrators-waterproof/hummingbird). This hard plastic waterproof vibrator has a scooped-out side that users say emulates oral sex, and a "protruding tip" that puts the vibrations directly on the clit. At only $16 (U.S.) from Babeland, what’s not to love?
FOR THE GENTS
For the boys who love toys, the most inexpensive sex toy would have to be that old standby, the cock ring. Depending on the material used, these usually hover around the $10 mark, and can be used with or without a partner – and with or without an accompanying vibrator. Sweet!
Of course, the very cheapest of cheap sex toys can usually be found at the Dollar Store, as recently demonstrated by a photo-essay in The Link’s most recent queer issue. Get creative and scour the aisles of your local Dollarama, and report back on your best finds at firstname.lastname@example.org!