Lalla Land: Is this a joke?

Is this a joke?

Luna-C: Cray-z vinyls 'n shit

Born on April Fool’s Day with the last name Lalla, I was an obvious target for bullies and no-gooders in elementary school. If it weren’t for the intimidating presence of a psychotic older brother – and the obvious deadliness of my own acid wit – I may have never made it through those times of tribulation. To this day I find myself forced to whip out ID to prove my identity and birth date to skeptical acquaintances. Most Hour readers assume that Lalla is a fakey-fakey name just like you think that this whole birthday thing is a farce. Anyhow, I think Zack de la Rocha said it best when he stated that "ignorance is bliss" (Settle for Nothing, 1992). On the other hand, he also put it pretty succinctly when he stated, "When ignorance reigns, life is lost" (Township Rebellion, 1992). It was also pretty sweet when he said "fuck you." Whatever, you’re all gonna die.

My birthday present from the local electronic music scene is a disaster-bound evening featuring my psychotic sibling DJ Sarcastic alongside J-Fizz and The Rastitute, graciously hosted by Saphir’s Mix Thursday. If you think you can beat me in a bare-knuckle bar brawl, then tonight is the time to prove it. Bring a plastic bag to cart your insides home in afterwards. Upstairs at Saphir the pre-party for weekend rave Back to the Groove features San Fran happy hardcore purveyor Tony Benino and locals Doc Savage, Metzen and Don Louis. Mirrorballs’ FAME monthly features personal favourite Sean Kosa, his partner in dark electro crime Romeo Kardec, co-host Clifford Brown and Quebec City’s MIM on up the street (at Academy).

Saturday night’s Back to the Groove promises a smorgasbord of hardcore, happy hardcore, hard trance, d’n'b, techno, electro and breakbeats. A slew of locals includes Tipsy T, Don Louis, Matduke, Rhys Taylor, Screwhead, Level 4′s Toltech and Sarcastic and In Da Jungle’s Galaksy and Nitrous, while out-of-towners feature Benino, Boston’s Endo, Czech’s Jean Luke Picard, Toronto’s Virus & Scoots and headliner Luna-C. The veteran Brit producer, DJ and label magnate is legendary in hardcore circles for his unique performances that typically incorporate unreleased dubplates and frenetic genre shifting (info: or 1-888-RAVE-050).

Local vet Milton Clark, co-founder of the enigmatic Kirk6 consortium and long-time DJ of techno, breaks and, lest we not forget his prior incarnation as DJ Baby Dino, ravey-trance goo, mans the turntables at Blizzart’s Plateau Saturday. The Milton Clark moniker refers of course to the street corner of Milton and Clark, where shuttle buses would traditionally pick up partiers for raves in desolate warehouse locations or far out of the city. Though this tradition has gone the way of the Dino, Piknic Electronik valiantly attempts to revive old-school rave vibes with their Cabane-à-Sucre Electronik Sunday night, featuring Italy’s DJ Remo, Pan/Tone live and DJ Mini (2 p.m. to 11 p.m., $30-$35,

Bass enthusiasts are welcoming Saturday night’s Dubstep Experiment. Promising to import a stack of subs to properly convey the low-frequency emissions integral to the newly branded genre, the Hardsteppers’ Sase One and co-partner Jack promise that the night will be a truly "physical" experience ($5 at Le Kopshop, 111 Roy E.).

Stereo, now undoubtedly Montreal’s best afterhours club, has an epic Saturday as they celebrate both the eighth anniversary of David Morales’ La Vie en Stereo (where he’s guaranteed to spin for at least 18 hours straight) and the sixth anniversary of Stereo Bar’s liquor licence.

If you’re throbbing and sore but still eager for punishment, Kosa is Mary Hell and Sunday Luv‘s guest at Beat Me Up Sunday night at Saphir, a virtual lock for lewd behaviour and loud, dirty dance floor beats, and a last chance to test your bare-knuckle skills on yours truly.

Lalla Land’s 12-inch of the week: Cari Lekebusch’s Level of Reality (Truesoul number 12).

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Lalla Land, Music