Rolling out the warming banquet at L'Ermitage
To deal with the lingering intense cold of this winter, let’s turn to other cultures that suffer month after month of climatic hardship. In a Siberian frame of mind, we should think doughy grub and shot after shot of vodka. Fortunately, the Russian L’Ermitage is only a brief trudge from a metro, which makes it all the less likely you’ll wander into a snowbank and freeze off your ushki.
Some charms are to be found in the square-roomed resto, which was still adorned with leftover Christmas lights when I dropped in. Boppy Russian pop tunes belied the dour Siberian stereotype. A couple of Russian hotties walked in, wearing tight jeans and little puffy coats. The atmosphere warmed up even more.
How can you not love a place that serves vodka in 25 cl increments? We started with Stolichnaya and Moskovskaya, each smooth, the latter slightly more peppery. Next came the premium Belvedere. Then I ordered the Absolut Kurant, having forgotten why I don’t like flavoured vodka. This horrid cough-syrupy stuff reminded me. The only recourse was to take solace in more Stoli. Soon the cold outside was incidental, my napkin was falling off my lap, and we hadn’t even had the starters. I was snockered. But after a few more shots, I broke to the other side and everything was clear again.
The menu’s rich with choices ranging from bison shish kebab to cabbage rolls, from chicken fricassee to Moldavian ratatouille. We went for a single gastronomic prix fixe and supplemented it with soup and an extra main (couples, even trios, often share the $55 table d’hôte).
First were smoked fish slices – tuna, eel, sturgeon (slightly past its prime) and salmon beautifully matched with pink peppercorns and fronds of dill. Bright salmon caviar was heaped upon a hard-boiled egg half – an exercise in texture.
My borscht was a good balance between cabbage, vinegar, potato and beet. "People ask for that Russian soup," the grey-eyed proprietress said, "but borscht is Ukrainian, Polish – not Russian."
My Zhivago’s solianka soup was chockfull of chicken, ham, beef, capers, olives, lemon. Rich and crazy, it was a meal in itself.
We then ravaged an assortment of dumplings. Vareniki, topped with fried onions and mushrooms. Meaty round pelmeni (reminding me of wontons), pastry-like piroshki, and our faves, the mushroom-stuffed ushki, named for the ears they look like. All were silky-doughed and butter-smothered, to be eaten with lots of sour cream.
Bellies already stretched, lemon sorbet in vodka eased the transition to the main course. Chicken Kiev was a tender crisp roll of chicken, with melted butter inside. My zrazi was veal wrapped around hard-boiled egg, red pepper and mushroom, with a very flavourful mustard-lemon sauce.
Throughout we drank more vodka, made all the sweeter by the food. My Ukrainian-descent companion told me of Muscovites taking a bit of sausage and a vodka shot as a mid-morning pick-me-up. I could see the Mongol hordes in his almond-shaped eyes.
Our dessert crêpes were stuffed with a cheesy concoction, topped with strawberry syrup. "The French say crêpes are theirs, the Russians know they’re theirs," we were told.
At my bidding, my little Bolshevik leaned over and whispered phrases learned years before in a Russian course. Soft phrases resonate in my ear. Nice. What does it mean? "Hello" and "thank you," he smiled.
L’Ermitage
5001 Queen Mary; 735-3886
Dinner for two, no tax, no tip, no vodka shots: $40-$60
8 comments
Great job Maeve…you’ve successfully managed to write up a place that sounds totally unimpressive. I imagine that you’ve eaten in a lot of Russian-themed restaurants over the course of your career so I guess that you must know what you’re talking about.
I haven’t eaten in nearly as many restaurants as you have and I’m damned sure that I haven’t eaten in too many ones that featured Russian cuisine or ambiance but it seems to me that your article doesn’t do a whole Hell of a lot to convince me or anyone to go there. I’ve actually dined at a few restaurants of this type before despite the fact that Russian cuisine is far from being my favorite. I’m not saying it’s bad, just that given a choice I’d choose something else. If anyone is tempted to taste this joint’s morcels and tidbits because of your article more power to you but I do have one question that seriously bears asking: “How much vodka did you actually drink?”
Sorry, don’t mean to be insulting (not that I’d really care anyways) but you opened the door…I’m just walking through it. At one point, you state and I quote “Throughout we drank more vodka, made all the sweeter by the food”.
Really? A cynic might *not* say that the food affected the vodka, a cynic might say that *the vodka* affected your culinary judgement. But hey, you’re the critic, I’m just a humble reader…what do I know.
…in 25 cl increments?”
A shot of alcohol is about 25 ml (one ounce is 28 mL) whereas 25 cl is a cup! If you drank five cups and “…a few more…”, I hold little faith in your memory of the qualities of the remainder of the meal.
1)I’m a russophile
2)I’ve only been in Montréal 6 months
Having got this out of the way I thought your reviewer entered into the “russian” spirit of things and at the end of the article I fancied trying out the place. True I don’t know other russian restos, but have tried and enjoyed a polish one which could serve as a comparison – at least for the borscht!
As for the price…being a european does help, but I can tell you that for similar service you could expect to pay double – and in US$ – should you attempt the experience in Moscow!
Spassibo bolschoï Maeve.
If this place has real Russian vodka then I am there to have some. It has been way too long since the last time I had some. No matter what anyone says real vodka has to come from Russia because there it is just made right. I have had some amazing flavoured vodkas too and by far if you get a chance try to get your hands on a nice glass of chilled pepper vodka. Mmmmm it is the best!
I have enjoyed Russian meals before- especially at the Troika on Crescent. They even have a variety of Vodkas not found in your local SAQ. Truth is when in the mood for some Stoli- I head to my freezer- not a restaurant.
Even Bison grass vodka- a lovely treat (especially served with Caviar as I had it in Paris at Caviar Caspia- oh my… SOOO good!)——— sorry was interrupted by a drool moment. Back now. As I was saying even the delectable Bison grass vodka is sold at the the SAQ.
However the spicy vodkas and other remarkable vodkas imported for Troika make it a unique experience. Fact is for that $ I expect a good meal- not peasant fare. Perogis & vodka are a treat. But I can get a plate of perogis at the Polski Deli on St-Viateur for 4.50$ (and there always is Vodka in my freezer, sometimes several kinds).
Well Maeve, sounds like you had fun- glad you did. Not convinced that I would be as taken with L’Ermitage as you were.
[Warning: Troika is not for those who are afraid to part with money for a dining experience- don't go there and freak out. It isn't in the "Cheap Thrills" book.]
I am always impressed with the variety of food available in Montreal, and this restaurant definitely seems to offer something different! Definitely something to try. While it may be a bit pricey, I think it would be worth a trip. The dessert crepes definitely sound appealing…and vodka shots!
What makes Montreal a great city is that restaurant’s such as l’Ermitage can surface and make a decent living selling typical regional culinary delights. I know I would be depressed on eating American-sytle Tex-Mex cusine day in and day out.
The vodka in 25 cl increments line does not surprise me in the least bit. Europeans are known to charge amounts by weight or quantity. For example, bakeries in Italy serve pizza by the kilogram.
I would like to give this restaurant a try with a significant other . I can see my evening just flow easily as the vodka that’s poured into my glass…
The Russians are coming, the Russians are coming,(well it was a funny movie), but some
Russians live here in Quebec, and open restaurants like L’Hermitage on Mary Queen street,
right here in Montreal. I already had a meal over there, I paid 110.00$ (Canadian money)
for two persons, hostess table, including a little bit of caviar and a lot of vodka and we returned safely
home in a taxi, with memories of very good tastes and that night I dreamed of
all the art objects I saw at the L’Hermitage Museum, the real one, drinking water only!